Still Waters
by Goddess Of Heather
Summary: Nick and Gil explore their relationship more. *SLASH* Sequel to Hidden Depths. Second in the Rivers of Life series.
1. 1 of 4

Title: Still Waters Summary: Gil and Nick explore their relationship while keeping the rest of CSI in the dark. Archive: anywhere just let me know and my page: www.angelfire.com/weird2/butterflywings Rating: R for mention of rape. (for now might be some NC-17 stuff later and that will have a special warning) Pairing: Gil/Nick Warnings: contains spoilers for all of current season, major ones for Snuff AN: As I admit my limitations for coming up with intriguing CSI plots I'm using what Gil and Nick did in Snuff (canon) and putting a twist on it. Hope it twists enough for ya'll.  
  
Nick was excited. It was his first night out in the field. After the week spent at home 'recuperating' and the two weeks after where he just processed in the lab, he was really ready for field work. Not that the last three weeks had been perfect. There had been lots of nightmares, a few panic attacks (to his embarrassment one happened at work and another resulted in Grissom leaving work early to come home) and general skittishness out in public. He still didn't go out alone after dark, he always carried his gun when he left the house, some of the paranoid tendencies that he had had after his last attack came back with a vengeance. Everyone at work had been really great, most even going so far as to flick the light when they came into the room so as not to startle him (except for Eckle who was the one that started the panic attack in the first place and now sported a broken nose and an even bigger grudge). For Nick going out into the field on the day he chose symbolized him taking more control of his life. Actually in the battle to exert control over his surroundings he had become almost obsessive-compulsive about the house and yard. It drove Gil nuts, but in a way he was happy to put up with Nick's eccentrics as long as they weren't harmful. It was also unspoken that they spend most of their off time at Nick's.  
  
In fact their relationship mentally was going fine. Both had become closer and learned more about the other in the weeks that they had been together then they had about most people in their life. On the other hand their physical relationship was at a stand still. All they had done so far was light necking, it had been a mutual decision to take things slow, one that they both found frustrating and exhilarating at the same time. ~Enough time to think of that later, now I need to concentrate on this crime scene, and not that sound Gil makes when I nip right under his left ear..~ Nick visibly shook himself and got down to work on photographing the scene. He didn't however manage to erase the smile on his face, which Grissom picked up on and couldn't help smiling in return. Grissom approached him purposefully making noise so as not to startle him.  
  
"Finished with the photos?"  
  
Nick nodded, "yeah, yeah I'm done. You can move the box now." Nick waved a hand at body in the tool box from the back of some truck. "You know Grissom most people try not to let ants into their spaces, now you're carting a whole colony into work? It's gonna be nasty until we finish this case and fumigate."  
  
"Nick, they're evidence. Besides they'll be kept in an enclosed environment."  
  
"Yeah well in my experience ants are crafty creatures that manage to get in and out of everything. At least it's not a nest of scorpions." Nick shuddered.  
  
"Well I do have some experia- wait what do you have against scorpions?"  
  
"Sometime I'll have to share the stories that came from having a scorpion infestation for a summer."  
  
Grissom blinked in shock, "scorpion infestation in your home?" Nick just smiled and walked off.  
  
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Nick was happy when the bugs were killed. Back when he was younger, maybe 10 or so he had watched a special on ants, including the man-eating ones. For weeks afterward he would have nightmares that ants were eating him alive and when he opened his mouth to scream they just poured down his throat. Nick shuddered, he would never understand Grissom's fascination with insects. His first night of field work was more stressful then he thought and he was happy to be home, even happier that Gil was with him. "That was a nice pick-up with the spur. I don't think it would have occurred to me."  
  
Nick shrugged, "I used to ride, a lot actually. It was just out side your field of knowledge." Gil pulled Nick forward into an embrace kissing him, well passionately is clichéd but true in this case. They stumbled their way over to the couch and spent, to them anyway, a very lucrative 20 minutes making out.  
  
Breaking apart, both with silly grins on their faces, Gil said almost breathless, "you do realize that we're acting like teenager's making out on couches like all we're made of is hormones?"  
  
"Sounds like a good mid-life crisis to me."  
  
Gil groaned, "don't remind me." Nick pulled him in for another kiss.  
  
"You shouldn't worry about it, I think you're great and you look great. Besides better late then never."  
  
"What mid-life crisis?" Gil pulled back affronted.  
  
"No, jeeze horny teenager that's only made of hormones." Gil chuckled into Nick's neck and they both felt assured by the normality, at least for them, which permeated the air.  
  
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The next day Nick was walking by a lab door when Warrick called him in. Catherine and Sara were also present. "Hey, Nick, I noticed you and Grissom are getting pretty chummy lately. That's a pretty nice assignment working with him on that ant hill that used to be a body, versus some nasty snuff film."  
  
Nick snorted, "yeah you would think so, actually those ants give me the heebyjeebys." Nick shuttered.  
  
"Man, you are the only person I know that can say heebyjeebys and get away with it," said Warrick.  
  
Catherine looked at him a little startled by his dislike for ants, "what do you have against ants?"  
  
"Just they're these freakishly small creatures that hurt like the dicken's when they bite, they can eat a man whole, I used to have nightmares when I was little about being devoured by a giant mass of ants. They're -they're just so freakish! Did you know that if you weighed all the people in the world and all the ants in the world the total would be about the same? Tell me that isn't freaky!"  
  
Grissom came into the room, "I think I'm rubbing off on you." Nick and Grissom both blushed, "Why else would you be spouting off bizarre insect facts?"  
  
Sara exclaimed, "You mean that's true?"  
  
Nick pouted insulted, but not really hurt by their lack of faith, "I do know things, guys. Things that Grissom hasn't taught me."  
  
"Dazzle us Einstein," Grissom said. It was all in good fun and it help relieved some tension that had been building up from being in the field, around all those people.  
  
So Nick took a depth breath and began to speak, "you being in love will tell who softly asks in love,  
  
am i separated from your body smile brain hands merely to become the jumping puppets of a dream? oh i mean: entirely having in my careful how careful arms created this at length inexcusable, this inexplicable pleasure--you go from several persons: believe me that strangers arrive when i have kissed you into a memory slowly, oh seriously --that since and if you disappear  
  
solemnly myselves ask "life, the question how do i drink dream smile  
  
and how do i prefer this face to another and why do i weep eat sleep--what does the whole intend" they wonder. oh and they cry "to be, being, that i am alive this absurd fraction in its lowest terms with everything cancelled but shadows --what does it all come down to? love? Love if you like and i like,for the reason that i hate people and lean out of this window is love,love and the reason that i laugh and breathe is oh love and the reason that i do not fall into this street is love."  
  
E.E. Cummings."  
  
They all stared and blinked, unsure of what to say Grissom finally spoke, "Umm Nick? What was that?"  
  
"What do you mean what was that? It was a poem by E.E. Cummings, seemed appropriate." Grissom blushed.  
  
Grissom cleared his throat, "yes well we got a match on our face reconstruction."  
  
Nick looked, well pleasantly surprised, "really?"  
  
"Yeah, really. Now c'mon we have a ranch to visit."  
  
Nick paused on his way out the door. "Ranch? Which ranch?" Grissom was already gone and Nick jogged out, calling after him, "what ranch?! Grissom?" Catherine, Warrick and Sara just exchanged looks.  
  
"One of these days I'm going to remember to ask him about this bizarre English knowledge of his," Sara said.  
  
Warrick waved his hand, "probably had week long series about famous authors on A&E or something." Sara couldn't help but giggle, which got Catherine started and before the three knew it they were all shaking with laughter.  
  
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The sun was just risen when Nick, Grissom and Brass showed up at the ranch where the victim had worked until he had gone missing. Nick sighed, "I can't believe that we're at the Las Vega Ranch."  
  
Brass looked at him in puzzlement. "Why?"  
  
A mirthless chuckle escaped from Nick's lips, "You'll see." The three approached a scene where a group of cowboys watched a man practice riding a bucking bronco. A man approached them.  
  
"Howdy, I'm Pete Banson, but most people call me-Saint Nick!?!"  
  
Brass eyed the man like he'd lost his mind, "most people call you Saint Nick?"  
  
Nick just sighed and turned to face Brass and Grissom, "he's talking about me, I did some work for Petey, back about 5 years ago." Nick walked up to Petey and pulled him into a hug. "It's good ta see ya man."  
  
"Sure is, Saint Nick. I didn't know you were back in Vegas."  
  
"Oh yeah, well I've lived here for 2 years actually. I work for the Las Vegas crime lab actually. We ah, found a body out in the desert, Randy Traschel, do you know him?"  
  
"Oh yeah hired him about two years ago, guys called him Stumpy, 'cause of , well ya know."  
  
"The Down Syndrome?" Grissom asked.  
  
"Well yeah I guess, he was a good worker though, came in mucked out the stalls, didn't complain or anything, disappointed when the little guy just up and disappeared on me."  
  
"Hey, Petey, ya mind if we take a look around?" Nick asked.  
  
"No, no problem, look all over the place. Real sorry to hear he's dead."  
  
Nick and Grissom were walking into the barn when Grissom said, "Saint Nick?" and raised an eyebrow at Nick.  
  
"Don't even go there, Gil, just don't even go there."  
  
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Grissom had left the barn after questioning Vasquez, the man that replaced Randy on the ranch. He had finished up and was going back inside the barn to see if Nick was done when he heard two men in there talking.  
  
"Look, Rattison, I left rodeo work because it was just a hobby. I just did it for the money. My real passion is helping people. You don't help a hell of lot of people by riding around on some bull."  
  
"And picking around corpses is helping people? You're a cop out Stokes. Everyone else might've thought you were the best thing since BBQ, but you and I both know you dropped out because you couldn't face me."  
  
"Rattison, I don't have the time or the inclination to do this. You think whatever you want, I got what I came for." Grissom was waiting for Nick outside the barn.  
  
"Let's get Brass and leave okay?" Nick just nodded, looking a little pale.  
  
Nick slid into the backseat of the Tahoe and was surprised when Grissom slid in beside him. Even more so when Grissom signed, 'are you okay?'  
  
'Yeah, I think so. Situation just shook me up a bit. Being alone with Rattison.'  
  
'I would have come in you had needed me too.'  
  
'You heard?'  
  
'Not deaf yet.'  
  
'That's just great.'  
  
'Nick it's okay for you to be afraid. It's only natural. Look I just have one question: Saint Nick?' Except instead of using the sign for Saint and Nick's sign name he made the sign for Santa Claus. They both burst out laughing.  
  
Brass glanced into the rearview mirror and shook his head at the site of Gil Grissom laughing so hard he was crying. He would never understand that man. 


	2. 2 of 4

What would one of my post's be without the long author's note? As a  
  
horticulture major I know something about plants, unfornatly most of  
  
that is based off of Georgia, very different then Nevada. I did my  
  
best to pick appropriate plants, trying to be true here, nothing  
  
better then a well-researched story.  
  
  
  
Still Waters part 2  
  
The next day when they drove in together for work, Sara was just  
  
exiting her own vehicle. She hadn't known that Grissom was still  
  
spending so much time with Nick. They did seem to rely on each other  
  
a lot now, though. She wasn't that surprised when Nick was placed  
  
with Grissom on the assignments. She also didn't mean to over hear  
  
their conversation but she couldn't help it.  
  
"So Saint Nick, are you going to pull off a miracle today?"  
  
Nick rolled his eyes, "Grissom" he growled, "aren't you always the  
  
one saying trust the evidence? Well we have plenty, we don't need a  
  
miracle." Grissom clapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"That's the right attitude Nicky."  
  
~Saint Nick huh? This could be fun.~  
  
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It was around midnight when Warrick, Sara and Catherine decided to  
  
take a break and have `lunch'. This was of course when Sara decided  
  
to share what she had heard.  
  
"So what if Grissom and Nick rode into work together? I think the  
  
friendship is good for both of them."  
  
Warrick nodded, "I have to agree with Catherine, Sara. What with  
  
Grissom always smiling, we even get the occasional laugh out of him.  
  
They both seem a lot happier if you ask me."  
  
"Yeah I guess you're right. What I really want to know why he called  
  
him Saint Nick."  
  
"Who me?" They all spun around in their chairs to stare at the man  
  
leaning casually in the doorway. Nick just grinned. "If I tell you  
  
how I got my nickname will you promise not to spread it around?"  
  
The three people were eager to hear this tidbit from Nick's past and  
  
quickly agreed. "Well I got it in high school actually. I was kinda  
  
well-known because of my parents and they had always taught me to be,  
  
well proper, is the only way I think I can describe it. I was well  
  
known for my politeness. All the fathers were happy to have their  
  
daughters date me because they knew I wouldn't try anything. I never  
  
pushed or anything. But the culmination into getting the nick-name  
  
was when I went to this horrid chick -flick 9 *times*." Nick  
  
shuddered. "Oh God, I don't even remember the title, but it was  
  
*bad*. When my girlfriend of 3 months found out how much I hated it  
  
she said that I should be given Saint hood, and it just stuck.  
  
Everyone started calling me Saint Nick, which is way better then what  
  
they called me in grade school." Nick grabbed a sandwich out of the  
  
refrigerator. "I've got to go we're fixing to do a time line based  
  
on the depth of rust." Nick sketched a quick wave.  
  
Grissom walked in almost moments later, "have you guys seen Nick?"  
  
"Yeah he was just in here, grabbing his lunch out of the frig. I  
  
think he was heading down to the lab. Said you were looking at depth  
  
of rust to figure out a timeline."  
  
"Okay, thanks." Grissom was ducking back out when Sara called him in.  
  
"How did you know about Nick's high school nick name?"  
  
"What? Saint Nick? I thought that was his rodeo name. I'll have to  
  
ask him about that." Then Grissom was gone.  
  
The three stared at the empty doorway. "Rodeo? Do you suppose he  
  
was a clown?" Sara Asked.  
  
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"So Randy disappeared 17 months ago and he was killed 17 months ago.  
  
The broken spur is a match to Rattison's old spur. He has a new tool  
  
box on the back of his truck. Not to sound biased, but the evidence  
  
suggests he did it."  
  
"It does way more then just suggests, Nicky. I think we need to go  
  
back to the ranch."  
  
Nick groaned, "I thought you might say that. Sara was asking me  
  
about whether I was a Rodeo clown or something like that; I wonder  
  
where she got that idea?" Grissom just looked innocent, or tried to  
  
anyway; the little smirk at the corners of his lips gave him  
  
away. "Just as I suspected, we go not only to find a murder but for  
  
you to find out embarrassing stories about me! Well I'm on to you  
  
Grissom." Nick punctuated his words by poking Grissom in the chest.  
  
Then they both burst into laughter.  
  
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After testing the bull horns found in the back of Rattison's truck  
  
and finding them positive for blood Brass arrested Rattison and took  
  
him down town. Nick had ridden back with Brass in the front, but for  
  
legal reasons no one could ride in the back with Rattison, so Nick  
  
was going to swing by and pick Gil up once he got back. So that was  
  
how Gil found himself leaning against a sun weathered fence and  
  
chatting with Petey.  
  
"So Nick used to ride in rodes?"  
  
"Yessir. Good ol' Saint Nick, natural born horse person that lad.  
  
When he came through looking for work, I dunno about five years back  
  
I didn't think he'd be of any use. Turned out to be one of the best  
  
horse breakers I've ever seen. Told him I'd hire him if he passed  
  
the interview. He goes, `fair deal. What's the interview?' I told  
  
him ta see what he could do with the herd of horses I had at the  
  
time, I dunno about 30 head herd. Shrugged his shoulders and slid  
  
into the fenced area. It was the damndest thing I ever saw. Walked  
  
right up to the head stallion and grabbed it's face stared it  
  
straight in the eyes and then blew in it's nose." Petey shook his  
  
head with disbelief.  
  
Grissom's brow wrinkled in confusion. "I don't get it, what's so  
  
special about that?"  
  
"Boy son, you really don't know nuthin' `bout horses. He was  
  
establishing dominance over `em. Most people trick `em, or bribe  
  
them with foods, Saint Nick just walked in there and in horse  
  
language said `look here I'm the boss now so do as I say.' `Corse I  
  
hired `im on the spot. Best damn hirin' I've ever made. Sorry ta  
  
see him go. He waz just a' passin' through really."  
  
Nick's car pulled in next to the two, "well speak of the Devil," said  
  
Petey.  
  
Grissom finished, "and there he'll be. It was nice to meet you  
  
Petey," Grissom shakes his hand, "just wish it could've been under  
  
other circumstances."  
  
The ride home was spent in silence, both comfortable enough in the  
  
other's presence to not feel a pressure to talk. Nick spent an hour  
  
outside doing yard work, Grissom remembered how much Nick cared about  
  
his yard back during the incident with Nigel. Nick had been walking  
  
around, pretty much in shock from what had happened when he walked  
  
outside, presumably for some fresh air. Grissom had been on the  
  
porch as well when Nick had come out and so he had witnessed the  
  
scene that had become infamous at CSI headquarters. Nick had been  
  
standing there staring out at nothing when two rookie cops were  
  
complaining off to the side about these bushes with berries on them  
  
and how the berries were getting everywhere. Grissom had watched  
  
amazed as Nick just seemed to wake up and frowned down at the two men  
  
tromping in his front bushes. "What the heck are you two doing?"  
  
The two police men indignant about the berries and some civilian  
  
questioning them, "look you don't know nothing about policing, leave  
  
that to us." "Excuse me boys but the only thing you seem to know how  
  
to do is ruin my blueberry bushes. Now if you want to find the air  
  
vent it's behind the third bush on the back wall." Apparently Nick  
  
had some kind of sixth sense about his yard because Grissom hadn't  
  
even known there were people over in the dividing shrubs until Nick  
  
had called out, "Hey watch my apple trees! And be careful or you'll  
  
get clothe lined!" After that Nick had scurried about making sure  
  
the evidence was collected but also checking to make sure that people  
  
were being careful. It was evident then that Nick put a lot of work  
  
into maintaining his yard, that work had only increased since then.  
  
Grissom decided that if Nick felt better when in control of something  
  
like his yard, that he wasn't going to complain, no matter how weird  
  
Nick could get about it. Besides, when Nick got really hot he'd take  
  
off his shirt.  
  
Nick and Gil were eating cereal and watching the morning news on the  
  
couch when Gil said, "I have an appointment next week to see an  
  
audiologist." Grissom sounded depressed about it.  
  
Nick smiled at him, not in sympathy but in love, "Gil, even if it's  
  
the worst case ever and nothing can be done to fix it and you go  
  
completely deaf, I'll still love you. We'll figure something out for  
  
work." Gil looked away from Nick, unable to meet his eyes, Nick  
  
placed a gentle hand on Gil's cheek and turned Gil's head until they  
  
looked each other in the eye. "The only way deafness can defeat a  
  
person is if they let it. Together we won't let it." Something just  
  
snapped in Gil because suddenly his eyes were overflowing and he was  
  
sobbing into Nick's shoulder. Nick rubbed Gil's back mumbling  
  
nonsense in soothing tones. Eventually the tears tapered off and Gil  
  
looked at Nick, not saying thanks with his voice, but with his eyes.  
  
Nick replied by kissing him.  
  
What Nick had meant as a short thank you kiss had turned into a  
  
ttttthhhhhaaaannnnkkk yyyyyyyyooooooouuuuu kiss. Nick found himself  
  
desperate to touch Gil's skin. Slowly to make his intentions obvious  
  
he untucked Gil's shirt and slipped a hand underneath. He moaned as  
  
Gil breathed lightly into his ear and chuckled into Gil's neck when  
  
Gil bucked into him moaning from when Nick had tweaked his nipple.  
  
Nick unbuttoned Gil's dress shirt for better access to his chest and  
  
grinned around the nipple he had in his mouth when Gil started  
  
babbling non-sense. Gil was just untucking Nick's shirt when the  
  
phone rang startling the two so much they almost banged head  
  
together. Gil reached over and plucked the vibrating phone off the  
  
stand, "Hello?...No. No. I'm sure. No problem." Nick looked  
  
questionally at Gil, "wrong number." Gil sighed and looked at the  
  
clock. No doubt about it, the mood was completely destroyed. Gill  
  
rubbed a hand across his head. "We better get some sleep before our  
  
next shift.  
  
Nick nodded knowingly, "yeah, you're right." 


	3. 3 of 4

Still Waters Part 3  
  
Nick didn't always make sounds when he slept. Grissom, suffering from a night of insomnia had lain in bed watching Nick sleep and thinking. Nick still had nightmares every night. When Grissom had first stayed in the guest bedroom he had only been aware of the dreams that plagued Nick, if Nick cried out. He hadn't realized how many dreams Nick had that he hadn't known about. At first he couldn't figure out why Nick wasn't crying out, then he had noticed the way his fingers would twitch, often forming the word no, or the word stop in sign language. It was then that he had figured out Nick was dreaming about the babysitter. It seemed that he was having that same dream again. Grissom shook Nick's shoulder. "Nick, Nick wake up it's just a dream." Gil turned on the lamp by the bed. So when Nick's panicked eyes opened and fell on Gil he could sign.  
  
'Nick, it's okay, it's just a dream.'  
  
Nick automatically responded in sign language, 'sorry it just seemed so real.'  
  
'Was it about the babysitter?'  
  
Nick stiffened, ramrod straight, 'how do you know about that?'  
  
'I didn't pry into your life, Catherine let it slip out when you were attacked a month ago. She hadn't known about the attack, I mentioned you were raped..there was miscommunication going all over the place.'  
  
Nick looks puzzled and repeats a sign that Grissom used with a questioning look on his face. Grissom spells out rape and Nick's confusion clears, 'I had never learned that word.'  
  
'You know that you can come to me and talk anytime right? Even at work, about anything?'  
  
Nick looked upset, 'I don't want special treatment at work. Our personal relationship shouldn't effect work that much.'  
  
Grissom shook his head exasperated, 'that option is open to anyone, not just you Nick.'  
  
Nick nodded his head thoughtfully. 'Okay I might take you up on that conversation sometime, but I don't want to talk about it right now, still too fresh in my mind.'  
  
'It's not that long until shift, why don't we go in early?' They both got up to get dressed.  
  
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When they arrived at work the day shift was still on and in the lounge. Ecklie was in there as well and in the nature of avoidance Nick went straight with Grissom to his office. An hour from the night shift still Ecklie had come storming in, interrupting Nick and Grissom's quiet time. "Grissom I want to know why you haven't written Stokes up yet. He struck me!" Ecklie so focused on himself didn't notice Nick sitting in the corner quietly doing paperwork, nor did Nick bring it to his attention.  
  
"Conrad, we have to be more conscientious of people in lab. Everyone knows Nick is still recovering from an attack. It was a complete accident from when you startled him, if you would just flick the light-"  
  
Ecklie interrupted, "I don't believe in doing this touchy-feely crap, Stokes was attacked. He should just get over it and move on, none of this favoritism."  
  
"Conrad," Grissom sighed, "if it had happened to anyone else we would still be doing the same things."  
  
Nick could tell Grissom was on his last thread of patience and that nothing was being resolved so he spoke up, "Ecklie," Ecklie spun around to stare at Nick., "if I apologized again, would it be enough?" Ecklie gaped like a fish, 'what if I paid for the hospital bill too?" Ecklie's jaw snapped shut.  
  
"No," he said stiffly, "I don't think that will be necessary." Ecklie turned heel and ran.  
  
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The CSI night shift was gathered in the break room arguing..about who was playing the next game on the Playstation2. Grissom walked into the room and it suddenly fell deathly quiet. You could hear the cricket's chirping from Grissom's office. "What game," he asked with a smirk.  
  
"Antz Racing." They all said in unison. Grissom nodded his head.  
  
"Cool count me in." The entire team stared in shock, Greg who was also present timidly raised his hand and Grissom nodded to acknowledge him.  
  
"Did you discover some kind of mutant bug that took over your brain?"  
  
"I don't think I did, but if it took over my brain would I really know? Well what I do know is that if I fill out one more piece of paperwork I'll give myself an aneurysm." So they played. The whole nightshift team was shocked to find out that Grissom knew how to play Nintendo, said he had done some blood spatter consulting work for a company and they had given him a system for free. The whole group had a lot of fun, those that didn't play cheering on the underdog. The whole group really got a laugh from Grissom's various comments on the accuracies and inaccuracies of the insects portrayed. The fun was interrupted when Grissom's phone went off. Grissom was the only person that didn't jump at the sound and Nick noticed the way Grissom didn't look away from the screen. Nick discreetly elbowed Grissom and made the sign for phone. Grissom's eyes widen and he stopped the game. "Grissom. Yeah okay we'll be there in twenty."  
  
Grissom turned off the television. "Okay kids. We got a DB."  
  
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"What is it?" Nick jumped startled by the sound of Grissom's voice.  
  
Nick shook his head, "I dunno. I can't put my finger on it. There's just something off?" Even though it was a statement the questioning look in his eyes and tone made it more of a question.  
  
Grissom raised an eyebrow, "are you asking me or telling me?"  
  
Nick shrugged, "both I guess." Both studied the scene before them. It appeared that an intruder/intruders had broken in intending to rob the place and the victim had come home and surprised 'them'. The vic had been shot and the burglars, scared had run-off. Nick shook his head again, "I just," he shrugged helplessly, "something's off."  
  
Grissom clapped Nick on the shoulder. "If you figure out what's bothering you let me know meanwhile we have to get the vic down to the coroner." Nick didn't responded, just stared intently as Chrissy Handlebrook was wheeled from the scene.  
  
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When they got home after the shift change, they didn't talk about the case. They talked all the time, procedure and past cases, but current cases usually weren't discussed. It was just one of the ways that they kept their private time and their work time separate. The one thing that they did talk about from work were the current rumors about them that were going around.  
  
"Gil, I just don't think we should stress over it. I mean I over-heard someone tell Greg that you had swooped in from the rape attack to make me your bitch." He chuckled at the thought, though it was kinda hot..the idea of Gil all dominate...maybe when the relationship had stabilized and they both had more experience with the other's body.  
  
Gil made a face, almost reading the lusty thoughts going through Nick's head. "but what if it does come out? Will we deny it? I just.I just want to know where we stand."  
  
Nick sighed, defiantly serious conversation time, although most of the time after a serious conversation they made-out. That thought brighten him considerably. "Look Gil, I know it's not fair to you being so mixed up about things. Back when I was a cop in Dallas I didn't come out. You know I had been out in college, well I decided keep it to myself this time and it worked for awhile, not saying anything. Eventually one of the guys got snoopy found out and spread it around. It wasn't like anything major happened, but the little jabs, sometimes things in my locker, made me paranoid that something like what happened in college would happen again. Eventually the paranoia got too bad for me so I switched jobs and moved here. Don't get me wrong there were a few other reasons to move, but that was one of my main ones. So when I got here I actively set the image of a strong heterosexual man. I didn't want to lie to people, I just wasn't sure what you guys would think. So part of me wants the lying to stop. Hell part of me wants to shout from the rooftops how lucky I am to be with you, but the paranoid part wants to keep it secret. I just think we should atleast wait until the relationship is more established. Have plenty of ammo that you aren't playing favorites. Right now it looks like you are."  
  
Gil nodded slowly, "I guess I see what you're saying. It's just harder for me, I don't have a paranoid half telling me to keep quiet."  
  
"Well if you really want to be out we could tell just a few people. Just us nightshift, ask 'em not to say anything and they probably won't. Now," Nick had slowly been scooting toward Gil on the couch until he was practically in his lap, "I think we should get in touch with our inner horny teenager."  
  
Gil grinned back at him, "Sounds like a plan."  
  
And it was good, incredibly good. Gil was happily sucking on one of Nick's nipples when Nick went stiff as a board and pushed him off, saying, "no, stop. No!" Gil immediately sprang away, unsure of what had set Nick off, then he saw his belt was undone and the first button on the pants.~wow I don't really remember doing that.~  
  
Gil held his hands out, "I'm sorry Nick, I didn't realize I won't do it again." Gil spoke in low soothing tones, as one would a frightened animal. And the fear in Nick's face cleared to one of surprise and then sorrow.  
  
He buttoned his pants and then sat down next to Gil, still breathing heavily. "I didn't mean to freak out on ya there. I'm really sorry. I guess my mind's willing but body isn't. We just have to go a little slower with me." Nick looked downcast, he wanted to be back to normal dammit! This weirdness about anything below the belt is not normal. But just like before he has to accept the fact that it takes a long time to fully recover from.  
  
Gil trying to show him he wasn't mad, kissed Nick. "It's fine if we go slow, Nick. I'm in no rush, hell I'm 46 years old. Waiting another year isn't going to kill me."  
  
Nick smiled at him, saying yeah okay without words. 


	4. 4 of 4

Still Waters 4/?  
  
Nick sat staring at the photos from Chrissy Handlebrook's apartment. It was just too...pat. "Grissom! Grissom! I figured it out!" Nick grabbed the photos off the table and jogged quickly Down the hall toward Grissom's office. Grissom was just coming out and Nick skidded to a stop in front of him.  
  
"I figured it out! Remember how we couldn't find any foot prints?" Grissom nodded, "and we couldn't figure out why? It was a professional hit. Too clean, no footprints, no fingerprints, no nothing but a body and a looted apartment. They even took the shell casing! That just isn't panicked burglar to me. We've been thinking it's all just bad timing and a horrible mistake, but I think that it was on purpose. The question is now, why would someone want a nurse dead?"  
  
"Who, Nicky, that's the real question."  
  
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"So it turns out that Chrissy had found out about the charge nurse's smuggling operation and with all the money that the charge nurse was making she took out a contract on Chrissy's life before Chrissy turned her in." Greg looked surprised.  
  
"Wow, I don't think I would have ever seen that." Nick shook his head.  
  
"Greg-o, ya just need to train your brain to think a certain way. Some people think that way naturally, like Grissom, then there are some of us that just work really hard at thinking like he does." The days pasted rather quickly for Gil and Nick and before either knew it Gil's audiologist appointment had arrived.  
  
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Nick and Gil sat next to each other in the waiting room flipping through month old magazines. Every few minutes one or the other would remark on the article he was reading and show it to the other. So when Gil's name was called they both jumped startled and stood up. Nick hugged Gil and signed good luck before sitting back down on an uncomfortable plastic chair. He had just finished looking through Good Southern Housekeeping when Gil came back out, his face gave away nothing. The drive back to the house was silent with staring out the window ignoring Nick and Nick glancing every so often over at Gil, worried.  
  
When they had gotten inside Nick signed, 'what did the doctor say?'  
  
"Dammit Nick! Can't we talk like normal people for just a little while!"  
  
Nick recoiled in shock. Gil almost never yelled. Signing and speaking Nick asked, "Is it me your mad at or the results of the tests?  
  
Nick's calm manner deflated Gil's anger, leaving him feeling desolate and empty. Defeated, Gil signed, '35 percent hearing loss. I'm progressing very fast for otosclerosis. In a year I'll probably be completely deaf. I tried to listen Bach the other day and I couldn't hear half of the music's subtleties. I feel like I'm losing myself. I mean learning how to dance, really dance, was something I always meant to learn but never got around to and now I never will.'  
  
Nick looked at Gil with such tenderness in his eyes it made Gil want to cry. Nick's eyes lit up and Gil just knew that he had thought of something. He jumped up off the couch and ordered Gil to sit there and not move. Then he started to clear the floor. He had pulled up the carpeting in the livingroom and had beautiful hardwood floors now. He turned the speakers from the sound system down onto the floor and cranked the dials way up. He ran out of the room and when he came back Gil could see he had ear plugs in. ~What is he planning?~ Nick selected a cd and came over to Gil and kneeled in front of him. He gently removed Gil's shoes and socks and then his own. He pulled Gil out into the center of the room and then turned on the music. Music blasted into the floor. Gil stood in shock. 'You're going to teach me how to dance?'  
  
'Yeah now lets get the groove on.' Nick held onto Gil's hips and slowly guided him through a series of dance steps. Gil could not only hear the music but feel it too. Feel it thrumming in his feet and up through his chest, hearing the vibrations was a decidedly odd, but not unpleasant sensation. He turned to look at Nick's smiling face and it hit him, he just knew that everything would work out. Sure there would be fights, troubles and unexpected obstacles, but if he and Nick stuck together then there wasn't anything they couldn't figure a way around. 


End file.
